Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Sexy people

Okay, so I watched one of those "101 sexiest celebrity bodies" shows. It was by accident and they had already made it to the top 10, so of course I watched the rest. It's the second one I've seen and for the second time Beyonce and Angelina made the top 5.

....you know, I just don't get it. I won't argue that Beyonce has a very pretty face, but just how does someone with cellulite on the front of their legs get a sexiest body award? Denise Richards is fucking hot even though she just had a baby and she didn't even make the top five. It doesn't seem fair. Ninety percent of the population is trying to lose weight and Beyonce just waltzes in with her big butt and wins an award. There's a lot of people with big butts - what makes hers so special??? And where does she even buy jeans??? My ass is not small, but it is proportional to the rest of my body and I can't find pants. Ughhh. Stupid media baby. Media wants us all to be a size 2 but they throw in a fat girl so they can seem open minded while still pressuring us to look like Denise.

Likewise, Angelina Jolie made the top five on both shows too. She was actually number 1 in this one. (I think Beyonce was number in the last one.) This pisses me off partly because I still hate her for taking Brad. But, I also hate that these contests are so blatantly political. If I'm gonna watch this crap, they should at least be fair-minded about their decisions. Like Beyonce, Angelina also has a very pretty face and is really quite gorgeous. But, her body? She's got big boobs, but that's it. She's downright bony these days. I'm convinced she only made the list because she's Miss Social Rights all of a sudden. Have people already forgotten that she used to wear a vile of blood around her neck and that she made out with her biological brother at an award ceremony AND that she stole somebody's husband????

Let's just be honest. If you had a line-up of Beyonce, Angelina, and Denise, and all you could see was the neck down, who would you pick? DENISE!! And she didn't even make the top five. And where the hell was Rachel McAdams in this list??? To get a sexy body award, you should actually have a sexy body.

Anyway, I've already contemplated this for too long. But, I bet your happy I chose this topic over the janitor story.

Monday, January 09, 2006

New Year's Resolutions

I usually don't bother with New Year's Resolutions. I always resolve the same thing: Lose 25 pounds. Its more like a New Year's Wish though. In all these years, I've never actually done it. But, this year I am motivated. I realized there are things I really want to change about myself. So, here they are for the world to see. My 2006 year's resolutions:

1.) Lose 15 pounds. (Losing weight will always be on the list no matter how unlikely it is.)

2.) Arrive at least 10 minutes early to everything. People who know me will appreciate this. In fact, I secretly suspect that this was on other people's new year's wish list. I'm always trying to squeeze that last tiny task in before I go somewhere - doing the dishes, mailing a letter, paying a bill, whatever. I always procrastinate in some way. I'm not sure why. Its just something I do. And I inevitably feel very guilty and slovenly, especially when I make important friends wait. But, I'm going to change. I'm not sure how, but it will happen. If you have any suggestions for making yourself be on time, let me know.

3.) Eat at least one vegetable serving a day. Sadly, this will actually be an improvement.

4.) Dress better. This sort of goes with the "be early" one. I always end up dressing crappy for stuff because I wait until the last minute to get ready. Then I start piddling around reading blogs or some crap and then I have to rush to finish. I've also given myself all sorts of allowances for living in two different states. I don't make myself go shopping for clothes and have even convinced myself that I'm saving money for the house. Of course its bullcrap because I buy shoes at whim and never actually wear them. Anyway, I realized I've become a slob. This one I've decided not to start until Resolution 1 is complete or April, whichever comes first.

So, that's my sad, pathetic little list. Wish me luck.