Sunday, January 14, 2007

A Year in Review

It is 10:57 pm and I am upstairs working on a Sunday. Sven is in bed. A year ago, this would have been a similar situation except I would be on a plane to Phoenix in the morning. I am sitting here, hating my job, explaining to myself how it is because I am learning so much that it is really worthwhile. My, my, how things change in a year.

In the past year, Sven and I got married and I took on a new job. The job is in some ways more difficult, which is part of the reason I wanted to take it. The bigger part is that I wanted to be home indefinitely. So, here I am.

When I first started working back in Austin, it was a total mind-fuck. Every day, all I could think was, "Today, I am going to leave work and go home and be at home. Today, I am going to leave work and go home and be at home. Today, I am going to leave work and go home and be home." It was like this weird concept I couldn't quite grasp. I think this is how prisoners must feel when they are released, like - really? I can go to a gas station? All by myself? And that's okay? Or maybe like when you turn 21 and you're allowed to drink in bars. It's something that was never allowed and suddenly, one day later it is okay.

Being home took a couple of weeks to accept, and I was very very thankful at first. Everyday before work I would kiss Sven like it was the last time I would ever see him and thank God I was home. Now in the morning, I yell up the stairs at him, "Hey I'm leaving. See you tonight." I guess it just goes to show how quickly you start taking things for granted.

So, I guess I will get back to that report now. But, maybe I will kiss Sven before I leave for work in the morning.